Why We Made a Family Values Board—And What’s On It

A Fun Way to Connect and Grow Together

A while back, I was reading a parenting book (I think it was based on Danish parenting philosophy) and came across an idea that immediately resonated: create an agreed-upon list of family values or family rules.

The concept is simple but powerful — a set of guiding principles everyone in the family can get behind. I loved it and wanted to try it with my husband and kids to see what we’d create together.

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Why Create a Family Values Board?

Having a family values board gives everyone a shared sense of purpose and direction. It helps kids understand what matters most in your home — kindness, teamwork, effort, honesty — and it builds connection through meaningful conversations.

Instead of reacting to situations in the moment, you can return to your shared values as a compass: “Are we leading with love right now?” or “How can we rise together in this moment?”

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How We Created Our Family Values Board

With a little help from my PA (aka ChatGPT 😉), I brainstormed a list of about 25 values that felt meaningful and realistic for our family.

Here’s how we did it:

1. Make a List of Values.
   I printed out about 25 possible family values — things like kindness, gratitude, teamwork, creativity, honesty, and perseverance.
2. Cut and Choose.
   I cut them into individual slips and placed them in a bowl. That night at dinner, everyone took turns picking one, reading it aloud (if they could), and deciding whether to keep it or toss it.
3. Claim or Discard.
   If someone else really liked a value another person wanted to toss, they could claim it. If no one wanted it, it went in the discard pile.
4. Debate and Narrow It Down.
   Once all the values were chosen, we had a little “battle” to narrow things down to our top ten family values. Each person could share why their favorite should stay. It led to laughter, thoughtful stories, and great discussions.

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Our 10 Family Values

Here’s what we chose as a family — our shared compass for how we live, love, and grow together:

1. We lead with love
2. We try hard things
3. Our words matter
4. We include others
5. We solve problems
6. We say “Not yet,” not “Can’t”
7. We celebrate each other’s wins
8. Mistakes help us learn
9. We take care of each other
10. We rise together

Now, our board sits in a central spot in the house. It’s a touchstone for how we navigate daily life. When conflicts arise or choices need to be made, we pause and ask, “Does this align with our values?”

This simple practice helps both kids and adults reflect and grow together — and it has genuinely transformed the tone in our home.

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Why This Works

Creating a family values board isn’t just about picking rules. It’s about building connection, respect, and teamwork.

It gives your kids a voice, helps them understand why your family chooses to act a certain way, and creates buy-in that makes everyone feel part of something bigger.

It’s also fun — you’ll laugh, debate, and learn things about each other you might not have expected.

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✨ Your Turn:
If your family could only live by three values, what would they be? Share them below — I’d love to see what comes up for other families!