Why We Made a Family Values Board—And What’s On It

A while back, I was reading a parenting book (I think it was Danish parenting philosophy?) and came across an idea that immediately resonated: create an agreed-upon list of family values or family rules. The concept is simple but powerful — a set of guiding principles everyone in the family can get behind. I loved it and wanted to try it with my whole family — kids and husband included.

With a little help from my PA (aka ChatGPT 😉), I brainstormed a list of about 25 values that felt meaningful and realistic for us. I printed them out, cut them into individual slips, and placed them in a bowl. That night at dinner, each person — kids and husband alike — took turns picking one, reading it aloud (if they could), and deciding whether they wanted to keep it or toss it. If someone else really liked a value that another person wanted to toss, they could claim it. If no one wanted it, it went in the trash.

Once all the values were chosen, we had a little “battle” to narrow things down to our top ten. Each person could present an argument for why a value should stay. It was amazing — everyone gave examples from their own lives, debated, laughed, and really thought about what mattered most to them. Some values were similar enough that we combined them, and finally, we arrived at ten values that would become our family values board:

1. We lead with Love
2. We try hard things
3. Our Words Matter
4. We include others
5. We solve problems
6. We say “Not yet,” not “Can’t”
7. We celebrate each other’s wins
8. Mistakes help us learn
9. We take care of each other
10. We rise together!

Now, our board sits in a central spot in the house, and it has become a touchstone for how we navigate daily life. When situations come up, we reference it: “Is this leading with love?” “Is this helping us rise together?” It helps everyone — kids and adults alike — pause, reflect, and consider their behavior.

Creating the board wasn’t just about picking rules — it was about fostering discussion, camaraderie, and a shared sense of purpose. It was fun, engaging, and surprisingly deep. And the best part? Everyone truly bought in, so these values aren’t just words on a wall — they guide how we live together as a family.

✨Your Turn: If your family could only live by three values, what would they be? Drop them below — I’m so curious to see what comes up for other families!